Divorce is a piece of paper." You are just as much weird as me. Valentines Day meant nothing to me before you, it still means nothing. Funny Valentines day wishes are the best wishes that you can use to cheer up your single friends with a little but sublime touch of humor and fun. ", Chelsea Peretti"My parents divorced when I was one year old so I dont really remember any of the details, but luckily, my mom does so shes been really helpful. Happy Valentines Day. If you feel lonely today, just remind yourself that yesterday you felt the same as today, and tomorrow will not be different either. If you're not sure what religious message to express, go with a more generic wedding card. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein, Lifes not about how hard of a hit you can give..its about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward., There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Cherish it. I wont take you on a date this Valentines, girl! Divorce, Colorful Balloons, Don't. Sending warm hugs and kisses. That's one more than a monk. However, it is not necessary that you keep on regretting and wondering why your marriage fell apart. Please never leave us. "Love is grand. Happy Valentines Day, my handsome! Here are a few thoughtful card ideas: Champagne Pop Pop-Up Card: The new year is always a worthy cause to break out the bubbles! You can take this as a valentines day confession from me! Subject: anniversary card for spouse when you are not feeling the emotions. You are always allowed to choose your own happiness over anything else. You have friends who care about you. Divorce can feel lonely. ", Helen Rowland"Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. Happiness after divorce quotes can enlighten some ways on how to push through the challenges. Find ways to vent your disappointment. I trust what comes through me. 17. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Love is the answer to everything; stick with that crap, and you'll be ok. 3. So, if you feel like being nasty, it is better to release your nastiness through sarcastic quotesthan by snapping at your friends and family. On this valentines day, if you dont have anyone, dont be sad. I should send this to my husbands ex wife seeing as we are going to court AGAIN as she wants more and more support and has no kids at home and works as a realtor. What funny divorce quotes should I add to this list? They might help you envision a better future and even interest you in dating again. Best wishes for the future. 3. Hang in there. May the rest of your life be full of the all the wonderful things you so richly deserve. To be strong, I have to be happy. Happy birthday. You know you're getting old when your year of birth is not easily viewable in the drop-down menu and you've got to scroll down. Happy Valentines Day. "Divorce is success. Do not let the divorce pull you down. Congratulations! The best part is that our hilarious break-up/divorce cards are not even that expensive, and if you get our 5-card bundle for 9.99, you will save some pounds too. Divorce is an emotionally draining experience, and what someone needs most during this time is understanding, compassion and support. "I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn't think that you'll be mad enough to marry. Divorce is not funny business. I wish I could strip your clothes off tonight like the way you strip a bar of wrapped chocolate. May all you ever wished for come to you. Families split, love lost, love torn apart, and the demons of greed erupt. When two people decide to get a divorce, it isnt a sign that they dont understand one another, but a sign that they have, at least, begun to. Helen Rowland, 6.) "Wishing you a marriage as solid as your convictions.". ", Louis C.K. Tonight, lets make some love together. There are no right or wrong answers. Not less than what you think you should be. Stephanie Kathan, Dont ruin a good today thinking about a bad tomorrow., It is never too late to become what you might have been. George Eliot, Turn your wounds into wisdom. Oprah Winfrey. The little support from relatives, friends, or colleagues matters a lot to someone who suffers alone by themself. However, divorce isgaining social acceptance in many parts of the world. Inner peace can only be reached when we practice forgiveness. Greeting Card Universe is the BEST!!! ""A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. I got off the couch to buy you this card (just kidding, I ordered it on the Internet). Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than any other short sentence in our language. Austin Elliot, 12.) "I'm sending you my best wishes for endless love and happiness.". Congratulations on Your Breakup Card with Childish. Unfortunately, it doesnt go that way all the time, and some of our friends or families marriages will end in divorce. Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. I love you so much, I sniff your hair while you sleep. You cant reap something that you have not sown., Spouses may divorce, but parents are parents forever. Karen Covy. Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. J. Im so proud of you for choosing what was right to do. My wishes and prayers are always with you, my dear friend! This Valentine I am officially requesting you to leave my head, I cant stop thinking about you. Divorces are made in heaven. Oscar Wilde, Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Mary Kay Blakely, A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but theres less of you. Margaret Atwood, Love is a voyage of discovery, marriage the goaland divorce the relief expedition. Helen Rowland, Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers. Gerald F. Lieberman, Heartbreak is a loss. -Taylor Jenkins Reid. You know you're old when the doctor warns you to slow down instead of a policeman. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Christmas Cards Divorce Christmas Cards Delivery Date Price Events & Occasions Recipients Add Filter Sort by: Popular Ho Ho My Divorce is Final Holiday Card $4.52 $2.26 ( Save 50%) Ex Wife Merry Christmas card $3.97 $1.99 ( Save 50%) Ex-Husband Christmas Card $3.92 $1.96 ( Save 50%) Ex Wife Merry Christmas card $3.97 $1.99 ( Save 50%) Hand Lettered Sometimes We Must Let Go to Move On . I love writing about all things women! Sweet Messages Roses are red, violets are blue. I am not saying that I care about money more than I do about you. I am sending you my prayers and best wishes as you recover and start over. You are not alone. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, bones funny. Fix yourself a drink (it doesn't have to contain alcohol): Try spiced tea, eggnog, a cup of hot cocoa, or a toasted almond. 1.) Then my friend, why youre so sad? The pain may feel never-ending, but it will pass, hold on- and know that Im always here for you. I want a party, seriously! in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai. My Broken Dream. Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. A divorce court judge said to the husband, "I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week.". Looking forward to celebrating with you! Dont continue watering a dead flower., Moving on is a process; moving forward is a choice. Yet, this is such a common experience. I was traded. Tim Conway, 53.) That makes us a perfect couple. To be fair, in most divorces the house is split evenly. Love you guys to pieces.". Hope it brings peace to your life ahead. We are here for you. Failure is staying married to a person you no longer love." Happy Valentines Day everyone! These whimsical cards are sure to lift the spirits of all . May God guide you. Remember that, my friend. My wife and I are preemptively making a list of whose side well take when all our friends get divorced. Gonzo, 51.) It is hard to be wise and a lover at the same time while loving you. 3. You are a robber and a drug dealer at the same time. Apart from relaxing from all the stress that comes with a failed marriage, you get your freedom back which gives you get a chance to know and love yourself better. I cant imagine how lucky you are to be married to me! If you can change it, do it! Rossana Condoleo, A man that is aware of your sadness and sleep doesnt deserve your love at all., The way I perceive it, if you want the rainbow, youve got to put up with the rain. Dolly Parton, When you have to make a choice and dont make it, that is in itself a choice. William James. I got this card for you. , Have a great Valentines Day, senior! I love you my best friend! Ive started to envy you already! ", Robin Williams"Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Happy valentines day! ", Groucho Marx"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. IM FLATTERED, REALLY #wannabe#washeduphag#lovesmyseconds;). When we own our stories, we get to write the ending. Bren Brown, A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. Christopher Reeve, I think of love and marriage in the same way I do plants: We have perennials and annuals. Item information. 27. And that's your. If you are going through a difficult divorce, you may want to lighten up. Please, dont give up, my friend! Best wishes to the both of you! Think positively and take care! Bey bey. All they can ask for is a bit of support and good wishes from their respective families, friends, and acquaintances. They might help you envision a better future and even interest you in dating again. If you cant buy happiness with money, try buying a valentines gift for me. What Kind of Woman Marries The Passive Aggressive Man? Whats important is the action. As you're preparing to attend a bridal shower, instead of thinking about what to write in a wedding card, you'll want your bridal shower card to be addressed specifically to the bride.Bridal showers are typically reserved for the bridal party or close friends and family. My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. Because theyre worth it. Willie Nelson, Divorce isnt such a tragedy. I want to send you my good wishes and positive energy at the beginning of your new life. Divorce, Colorful Balloons, Dont, Welcome to the club of divorced people! Thats why I dont have any plans with you on this Valentines Day! Warmest wishes for a happy birthday! You know the one. #1: Make it personal. ", "I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. See a list for positive statements you can say, write, email or text to your grandchildren of any age. I have never seen anyone more romantic and caring as a person than you are. Think what Id have had to pay Alyce if she had contributed anything to the relationshipsuch as children or a conversation. A tragedys staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. When I got divorced, it was group sex. Going through a divorce can suck, but being divorced doesnt have to. Happy Valentines day, my dear husband. - Ambrose Bierce Divorce, n. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. Loving you is a weird thing and a roller coaster ride for me. 2.95 + 3.99 Postage. Although marriages traditionally begin with I do, when they fail, they invariably end with You dont. Judith Viorst, 49.) If so, these priceless funny divorce quotes will be great for you! However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. Ann Landers. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments." - Chris Rock 3. Happy birthday to my ex. Theres a slight difference between the two. Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the marijuana. A card with the right words when their relationship has ended can be one way of showing your love and care for them. Every Valentines Day creates a hole in my pocket that I need the whole year to repair. Thats scary. The annual blooms for just a season, and then winter arrives and takes it out for good. Do not take harsh comments to heart. If you want to show your appreciation to your loved ones, consider a beautiful card to write your New Year's message in. Check out our divorce card selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our greeting cards shops. Enjoy no longer having to pretend to like your in-laws. Save your personal information and explanations for face-to-face communication. And, then indicate your new living situation. Heartbreak is a loss. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness. Create and share by tagging @HallmarkStores. We slew the dating game, now we are slaying the married life. Divorce Encouragement Celebrate New Beginnings car. Reading inspiring and happy divorce quotes can really uplift your mood and make you feel better about yourself. Divorce is a piece of paper. Taylor Jenkins Reid, 9.) Wishing that this hard time passes away soon! "thank you for starting a family with me 10 years ago. Maybe she is not born yet, or maybe she is from mars! A personal touch is always welcome. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. She cried and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Tommy Manville, 30.) I need to upgrade the power of my glasses because Im blindly in love with you. My dear wife, please pardon me this Valentines Day. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. Jean Kerr, 33.) Divorce Cards For Her Sister Bestfriend Mum BFF Happy Divorce Card funny cards. ", Ruth Gordon"In our family, we don't divorce our menwe bury them. This is something you can conquer! You can always count on me! It takes a lot of courage, and even frustration, to decide to pack up and leave a marriage. You did the right thing. Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.-Rita Mae Brown. I would love to hear all about it in the comment section below. Touch the Seat Card, Rude Birthday Cards for Her, Funny Cards for Mum, Sister, . Personally, I believe its better to be single than be in a toxic marriage. Some victories are just passing moments. If you think coming up with encouraging words for divorce is hard, you can just imagine what your friend/family is going through. Hopefully, some of these quotes on divorce help you see others have gone through it and came out on the other side happy. Going through a divorce can have you feeling scared, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentines day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year. It will keep you warm and safe for some time but very soon youll realize that it was an electric blanket and someone else is in control of the switch! I hope these funny divorce quotes will ease your pain during this journey. Every man would agree that the 14th of February should be celebrated in a fiscally but not s*xually conservative way. Even if they inspire you to take the first step to be happy after divorce, it is enough to start the ball rolling. But in the same way, separation also cannot go smoothly if the two parties involved do not receive enough love, mental support, and good wishes. You chose to stand up for yourself rather than have an unhappy married life. The two of you getting married gives hope to all of humanity (not really, but I had to write something loaded with bull) 4. Whether we are talking about getting divorced quotes or quotes on being happy, great writers can help you feel less alone and more seen. Inspired? Hopefully, some of the happily divorced quotes provide a new outlook on things and help you adopt a new mindset with a focus on the future. You know why divorces are so expensive? When we do something we like, we are not only happy. ", Oscar Wilde"Divorces are made in heaven. Divorce, a bugle blast that separates the combatants and makes them fight at long range. Ambrose Bierce, 52.) Pair a digital gift card with a personalized Christmas ecard, for fast delivery to the recipient. But its still enriched the soil for the next flower to bloom. lol. Have you found divorce quotes that resonate with you and make you vibe? The greeting can be anything you want it to be! Half of all marriages end in divorceand then there are the really unhappy ones. Joan Rivers, 40.) If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, youd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. Magnon McLaughlin. My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. Congratulate your bestie, co-worker, or anyone else lucky to be pregnant with this giggle-inducing greeting card. Encourage them to practice self-care: rest, exercise, doing activities they enjoy, and join them for fun or relaxation when they seem to need it most. I was single and sad. I am sorry to hear about your divorce. You don't need to order 5 offensive leaving cards, you can order different cards for a range of occasions, plus if you send over 20 we'll give you free delivery. Even God couldnt find someone for you in all these years. Whether your friend or family is the one who initiates the divorce or their partner chooses to walk away, it is still a tough time for both people involved. Is there Anything Funny About Divorce. You know you are getting old when your finger cramps up while scrolling down to find the year you were born on a website. Know that every person that has come into your life and every challenge that you have overcome has made you the person you are today. Cindy Holbrook, If you arent comfortable with a decision, the chances are that its not the right one. I thank you for the laughter we always shared and for the memories we created in our short time as a couple and our even longer friendship. I like the way you chew my mind like a bar of chocolate. I am sure that you will find your own path. If you push it, it will be crap. Looking for some cheering after a nasty divorce? We did the rough work for you, so all you have to do is follow through with your promise by being supportive and generous with your words. The look on his face when you show him the lipstick on his collar Priceless. It simply means that youre ready to make better ones. And the beginning of the correction! You survived a divorce with a sociopath/narcissist/cheater. Nobody ever died of divorce. Jennifer Weiner, Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future. Robert H. Schuller, What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Owning your own story and loving yourself through the process is the bravest thing that well ever do. Bren Brown, Tough times never last but tough people do. Robert H. Schuller, Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt, is about what you put into it, not what you get out of it. I can't believe how quickly these years have gone by. Nobody gets married to get a divorce! The women get the inside, the men get the outside. Bruce Force, 27.) May your joy last forever. There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope. Bernard Williams, The most beautiful people Ive known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. Elisabeth Kbler-Ross, If you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one., Everything is going to be alright. I hope this hurtful phase passes away soon and you are able to bloom again. 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